Managing up: working effectively with your manager

0:00 Managing up

Here's a question. What does your manager worry about when they can't sleep? If you're not sure, you're not alone. Most of us spend a lot of energy on our own work and very little understanding the person whose support we need most. Managing up isn't flattery or office politics. It's building a working relationship with your manager so you both succeed. In this lecture, you'll learn how to understand your manager, agree expectations, keep them informed, disagree well, ask for what you need, and cope with a difficult manager.

0:39 Why it matters

Why does this matter? Because your manager influences almost everything about your working life: your priorities, your resources, your development, your visibility and often your next role. A good relationship means you get support earlier, your ideas get a fair hearing, and problems are solved before they grow. A poor one means surprises, frustration and missed opportunities on both sides. And remember: your manager has a manager too. Helping them succeed is part of how you succeed.

1:12 Understand your manager

Here's the concept. Start by understanding your manager as a person with their own goals and pressures. What are they measured on this year? What does their boss expect from them? How do they prefer to communicate: quick chat messages, detailed emails, or a weekly meeting? Do they want to be involved early in decisions or only hear about outcomes? How do they make decisions: data first, instinct, or peer views? Here's the key idea. Don't guess. Observe, and then ask directly. Most managers are glad to be asked.

1:51 The co-driver

Here's an analogy. Think of a rally driver and their co-driver. The co-driver doesn't drive, but they read the map, call out the bends early, and warn about hazards before they're visible. A good co-driver speaks in the format the driver needs, at the right moment. Too much talk is distracting. Too little is dangerous. Managing up works the same way. You help your manager navigate by calling out what's ahead, early and concisely, in the way they can use.

2:26 Expectations and updates

Next, agree expectations and keep your manager informed. Agree your top priorities, how success will be measured, how much autonomy you have on different kinds of decisions, and how often you'll meet. Write it down and check it every quarter. Then keep them informed without overwhelming them. A short weekly update works well: headline status, what's done, what's next, risks and what you need. And follow one golden rule: no surprises. Bad news early is a problem shared. Bad news late is a crisis, and a trust problem.

3:04 Disagreeing well

Now disagreement. Good managers want to hear concerns, as long as they're raised well. Do it privately, before the decision is final. Frame it around shared goals: I want this to succeed, so I want to share a concern. Bring evidence, not just feelings. Suggest an alternative or a way to reduce the risk. And then, if they still decide differently, support the decision fully, unless it's unethical, unsafe or illegal. In that case, use your organisation's speak-up routes. Asking for what you need works the same way: specific, in their terms, with a proposal.

3:45 Worked example 1: Ahmed and Saima (illustrative)

A simple worked example. Ahmed, an accountant at a firm in Lahore, feels his manager, Saima, keeps checking his work in too much detail. Instead of complaining, he asks her in their one-to-one: what would help you feel confident in the monthly reconciliations? She explains that a previous error embarrassed her in front of the partner. They agree a simple checklist and a two-line summary with each reconciliation. After two months, she stops checking line by line. Ahmed got autonomy by understanding her pressure, not by fighting it.

4:23 Worked example 2: Aisha in Dubai (illustrative)

Now a realistic business scenario, illustrative. Aisha is a project manager at a construction consultancy in Dubai. Her new director prefers detail by email, while her old one liked quick calls. Early on, she discovers a subcontractor delay that will push a milestone by two weeks. Instead of waiting until she has a fix, she emails him the same day: headline, impact, two options, and her recommendation. He picks her option and briefs the client himself before the client hears it elsewhere. Later, he tells her that was the moment he started trusting her judgement.

5:04 A difficult manager

What if your manager is genuinely difficult: disorganised, absent, or a micromanager? Start with curiosity. Is there a pressure behind the behaviour? Then adapt: for a disorganised manager, send short summaries of what you agreed. For an absent one, propose a regular fifteen-minute slot and bring a decision list. For a micromanager, over-communicate early to build confidence. Build a wider network of mentors and peers too. And if the behaviour becomes bullying, discriminatory or unethical, it's no longer a style issue. Document it and use HR or speak-up routes.

5:43 Watch me: the weekly update

Watch me do it. I'm writing an illustrative weekly update for my manager. Headline: at risk, because the vendor has delayed the data export by a week. Done this week: user testing complete, three fixes shipped. Next week: final training materials. Risks and asks: vendor delay, my plan is to move training earlier, and I need you to approve two hours of overtime by Wednesday. FYI: the client praised the new dashboard. It takes me five minutes. I read it once from my manager's point of view and delete one sentence that's only there to make me look busy.

6:26 Measuring success

How do you measure it? Your manager rarely surprised by you. Fewer revisions on your work. More autonomy over time, meaning more decisions at higher levels without checking in. Your manager bringing you into discussions earlier. And your development goals actually being discussed and supported. Once a quarter, ask: what's one thing I could do that would make your job easier? It's a powerful question, and very few people ever ask it.

6:57 Common mistakes

Common mistakes. Expecting your manager to read your mind. Waiting to be asked instead of offering updates. Hiding bad news until you've fixed it. Disagreeing in public meetings. Arriving with problems and no proposals. Complaining about your manager to their peers. And, the flip side, trying to please by saying yes to everything, then missing deadlines. Managing up is about honesty and partnership, not keeping your manager comfortable.

7:27 Recap and try this now

Let's recap. Understand your manager's goals, pressures and preferences, by observing and asking. Agree expectations in writing. Send concise updates, and never let them be surprised. Disagree privately with evidence and alternatives, then commit. Ask for what you need in their terms. With a difficult manager, adapt, build a network, and escalate genuine misconduct. Your try this now: fill in the working with my manager notes from the lesson, and send your first five-minute weekly update this Friday. Next module, we'll move to presentations and storytelling with data.